Sunday, May 20, 2018

Don't Speak.

No doubt. Don't Speak. One of my favorite songs.

So what, you say.

Today it matters because of a Nation wide fundraiser for ALS awareness and research called Don't Talk-a-Thon 2018.

Instead of just one hour though, I'm doing an entire day.

Now, I've done silent retreats, stuck in a retreat center with a handful of people around doing the same exact solemn, reflective, religious act, but this was different and extremely emotional so far.

I love Sundays because I get to socialize and SING at church with people I have grown friendships with. This morning I had to stop conversations and "How are you's" with a weird look of "I can't answer back" and a handout I personally made of why I'm not talking. I specifically only handed it out to the people who spoke to me. I'm not sure that I'll raise much money, but it was moving enough to see people read my flyer and give a look of understanding and sympathy and sometimes a hug.

I'm not sure I've ever felt the power of worship songs (or the service itself) the way I did this morning not being able to sing and the words stuck in my head that "He came to love, heal, and forgive"

Or the verse:

And then one day, I'll cross the river,
I'll fight life's final war with pain;
And then, as death gives way to victory,
I'll see the lights of glory and I'll know He lives.

I stood and imagined not being able to sing every church service, or not being able to speak encouraging words to people, or speak to my patients, etc.  Most of all though, I feel regret and sorrow for not having more interactions with my Aunt throughout my life and even since the diagnoses--distance being no real excuse.  I visit her next week and I can't help but to think this may be the last time I see her, especially as I pass the graveyard on my bike ride to and from church this morning. How do you really say goodbye to a person without saying goodbye directly?

My emotions and thoughts are all over the place today. I wish it were easy to organize and that I was capable of telling you something significant and meaningful, perhaps joyful and life changing. I leave you with a simple request for prayer for my Aunt (and my visit next week) and a consideration
towards donating to ALS research.

Donate here:    https://fundraise.projectals.org/fundraiser/1458032

Monday, March 12, 2018

Shoved Another Direction Part 1

I met a guy two weeks ago....

No, matchmaker friends, this isn't a romance journal.

I was filling in extra hours at a nursing home in Jacksonville, NC, about an hour from home all week. On the way home, on Tuesday evening, my car decided to blow a tire in Hubert. Hubert is podunk and without much shopping civilization. Unfortunately, it was coming close to 6pm and most places were closing even in Jacksonville.

Most people would assume that I'm level-headed, calm, collected, and know my business, under stressful situations--at least, I like to think you think that.

Panic and an automatic call to Daddy is more my reality. Throw in a regretted curse word or two, groveling for help, and bouts of stupidity in conversation with Dad to complete my hysteria. Dad said he was too far away of course..."call triple A or your credit card", he says. "Be an adult, handle it."

Ok, fine!

In that split second though, I realize I'm going to have to act professional on the phone to the credit card company (they provide roadside assistance) and so I change my tone with Dad and say, "I love you, thank you" in the most sweet, pitiful voice.

During Daddy convo, I had already pulled over to a small strip mall with a big warehouse that reads "Oriental Marketplace". There were two places open out of the mostly abandoned storefronts--a print shop and a church. I stepped into the print shop first to get away from the traffic noise for a call to my Delta card and get an address in this middle of nowhere. The clerk was busy and seemed annoyed when I walked in on my cell phone. Ok, step out it is.

Next up.

Can I just say that strip mall churches have always rubbed me uneasy? Can't pinpoint why.

I still needed an address and the guy from Delta was starting to give me money figures that I don't like the sound of. I started debating how much time I could change the tire to spare tire all by myself or maybe I'll walk into the creepy church. Free labor, right?

Naturally, this is what a church is for...

Kidding aside, In that moment I was grateful and humbled that when I opened that door those two men seemed already alert as to why I was in their parking lot and asked immediately if I needed help. All my anxiety and my miserly calculations dissipated. As they are starting to help me, the guy on the phone gave me one last, actual useful information, that Sam's Club was the only place still open and about to close in a half hour. Therefore, I told him I no longer needed Delta's roadside service.

David and David came out and changed my tire to spare tire within 5 minutes.

Two Davids. That's confusing for telling a story. I would distinguish them by saying "tall and skinny" and "short and stout", but if they end up reading this, I'm going to catch flack. I'll refrain from calling short-n-stout Mr. Carl Winslow...

Whoops.

So, tall-n-skinny David says his friend is preaching on Sunday and decides to invite me after bragging about short-n-stout.

I took them up on it....


Wednesday, August 24, 2011

Internal Hurricane!

News! News! A Storm is a brewing.

A hurricane?

Wow.
Entertaining to hear the frantic spiels of newcomers to Eastern North Carolina.

The Sky is falling! Gather your nuts, young squirrels!


Introduction of a drama queen and a local: