Short Story (based off a dream) by Amanda Wade:
“Let’s get this weekend started, already, shall we? So many toilets and so few rooms. Are you thinking what I’m thinking?” asks Jon to his six roommates.
Everyone nods in assumed agreement so Jon continues discussing his plan.
“So we came all this way to the beach from Detroit to see Amanda’s hometown and to do beachy things, like surfing, swimming, riding whales and dolphins—Can we do that, Amanda?—oh, I guess not; sad—rowing in kayaks, wakeboarding…”
“Hate to interrupt, but can you get to the point?” asks Marissa.
“Ah, yes. Yes. So we came here scrounging dimes from our savings from recycling our beer bottles and soda cans, hence, we needed a cheap and short vacation. We found the perfect place according to this ad Jeff, the homeless man from Marissa’s work gave her—we probably should have seen the fault in that scenario—but it did seem sound, regardless of the source. So here we are inside a house, on the sand nonetheless and overlooking the ocean, but there is one thing that is somewhat wonderful and disturbing at the same time—the toilets.”
Amanda had opened the door to the beach house with her roommates following close behind—she expected a normal beach house like all the other ones lining the beachfront—you know; a bathroom for each bedroom or perhaps a bathroom per every other bedroom.
No. Not this one. This house is right out of Alice and Wonderland or some sci-fi channel movie. There are toilets placed sporadically around the house—in and outside bathrooms, with and without stalls, some white, green, pink, blue, and even an orange one with a white striped lid, in different shapes and types, and some urinals too, they’re even in places normally considered unsanitary to have a toilet in, like the kitchen, and toilets on walls which somehow manage to still flush--these ones, you can lean back on because they are facing upwards; although I can’t figure out how it’s feasible to use in the first place. By chance the wall toilets were purely for finalizing the décor taste of the Mad Hatter or Lemony Snicket—strong odors don’t seem to be emanating from the inhouse stations.
“Maybe these people have a really big family? I mean I’ve got five brothers.” Gabe says.
“Yeah. I’m sure your family loves to poop in front of each other. I wonder what your guests think?” Amanda jokes and everyone snickers.
“Uh huh, this house was definitely made by the seven dwarves, despite us not being in a forest.” Kate adds.
“Guys, I don’t think Jon was finished. Jon?” Christine pauses the conversation and everyone turns back to Jon who is starting to have a sly smirk on his face.
